I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I didn't notice because vodka
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
