i need an iv and a liver transplant
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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