I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
