You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
