no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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