there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I believe in your delicious
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
