i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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