Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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