Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
