Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
