i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize