11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
