You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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