Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
