Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize