Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
