The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
