I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
