i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
