I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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