am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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