apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
