brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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