Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize