About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
