This is not my ceiling
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
