is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
