So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
