So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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