Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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