I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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