Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize