Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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