I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize