Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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