I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
