Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
