I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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