if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
