i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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