and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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