do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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