I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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