So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
