you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
