just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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