I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
