don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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