One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
