Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
