We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
YAS. BRING CRAB.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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