i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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