I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize