Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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