I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
