i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
