i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
